Interesting show today on Oprah: the fluidity of women's sexuality, and of sexuality in general. It is more focused on women because women do tend to be less fixed in their sexuality than men (because of the way hormones develop in the womb, I understand--also why there are many more gay men than women). There are several stories of apparently straight women falling in love with other women. Anyway, it really seems to be opening people up to the idea that one simply isn't all gay or all straight in most cases; they threw up a visual of the Kinsey Scale, which was new even to the queen herself!
It is also excruciating to see how much the children and husbands of these lesbian women have had to suffer. I can't get the thought of that being me, hurting my family, out of my mind.
Also interesting, a counselor saying she heard her clients saying, "I'm 95% attracted to women, but that 5% attraction to men is enough to sustain my marriage with my husband." I have sometimes felt this in the inverse--although my attraction for men is like a fire, what if the coals of attraction I feel for women could be fanned to the point that I could make a Temple marriage work? After all, I would only have to fall in love with one woman (the right "one"). But I have seen that thinking result in some very tragic circumstances...so many gay Mormons have said they were completely in love in their marriage, but the bottom line was that, in the long run, they were gay.
Then, a woman stated--as Scott and Alan have advised me--that "it's not about the sex". It's about identity, your internal sense of who you are. That's the key issue I'm dealing with. I really feel that I am gay--more of a matter of the spirit than the body
4 comments:
Frank,
Because it is not just about the sex, I believe the needs of identity can often be fulfilled through healthy nonsexual male relationships. I need male interaction and friendships. This part of my nature is fulfilled in many ways including, hiking or traveling with friends and family, phone calls, texts, emails, hugs etc.
When my life is out of balance physically, emotionally, or spiritually, my otherwise healthy need for male interaction tends to become more sexualized.
Great blog, by the way!
The real truth is being covered up by public figures. We are not getting out of this depression anytime soon. Its going to get a lot worse for most of us. It didn't have to be this way.
"As mass production has to be accompanied by mass consumption; mass consumption, in turn, implies a distribution of wealth -- not of existing wealth, but of wealth as it is currently produced -- to provide men with buying power equal to the amount of goods and services offered by the nation's economic machinery. Instead of achieving that kind of distribution, a giant suction pump had by 1929-30 drawn into a few hands an increasing portion of currently produced wealth. This served them as capital accumulations. But by taking purchasing power out of the hands of mass consumers, the savers denied to themselves the kind of effective demand for their products that would justify a reinvestment of their capital accumulations in new plants. In consequence, as in a poker game where the chips were concentrated in fewer and fewer hands, the other fellows could stay in the game only by borrowing. When their credit ran out, the game stopped."
Marriner Eccles, FDR's Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank - 1959
In other words, the first Great Depression was caused by greed. The rich couldn't settle for reasonable pay. They had to have more and more and more. That caused a giant shift in buying power from the majority to the rich. When the majority lost their buying power, they lost their ability to support the economy. The rich stopped investing because they knew that it would be tough to squease the last few dollars from the majority and make further profits. So the economy tanked.
Its even worse now. Because ordinary people havn't only lost their relative buying power. They have also lost their savings, home values, pensions, benefits, and nest eggs. This didn't happen overnight. Its been happening gradually for the last 30 years. Meanwhile, the rich have become super incredibly rich. The richest 500 Americans are worth almost two trillion dollars. More than the bottom 1/2 of American housholds combined. The richest 1 percent are worth over 15 trillion dollars. More than the bottom 90% of American households. Thats just insane. It can't be justified. I don't care how much work for humanity the rich claim to do. Its nothing but a cover for their incredible greed. We don't need anymore rich people to inspire us or entertain us or create jobs or make donations for humanity. We need them to just get reasonable about how much money and assets they keep for themselves.
Don't believe it when the rich claim to be getting poorer. Property values have gone down worldwide. Not only for rich people but for all people. Thats because of the concentration of wealth and income. When the economy slows down, property values tank. So when rich people complain about a lower net worth, thats a trick. They still have the same obscene buying power on average.
Everything that is happening with the economy is happening because the wealth has been taken away from the majority and concentrated into the private vaults of rich people. The same ones on TV and radio telling us how much we need them. How much we should love them. How much they want to help the world. Its a big lie. They don't want to help the world. They want to own it.
I wish I had something positive to say but I don't. There will be no bailout for the people because the ones with all the money just won't give it up. Say goodbye to the American dream and hello to the American nightmare.
Wow. That's not your everyday spam.
I hope that you'll listen to yourself—body, mind, spirit, whatever—more than anything else. That's the only way I can think of to find what works for you. There are a lot of possibilities.
@Matt: Yeah, that is odd. I favor a pretty free comment system, but I'm having to notch up restrictions a bit...a shame. Thanks for your comment, though!
@Bravone: Thanks for the compliment! And I see what you mean--platonic male friendships could be quite fulfilling. Hadn't really thought much about that before.
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